


One word to change the world

by Morathi_Cain



Series: What is it about those engineering boys? [20]
Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Fighting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, King's POV, M/M, Post Season 1, Ram is adorable, Ram is high, Tumblr Prompt, and gives King several heart attacks, confessing their feelings, doubts, protecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morathi_Cain/pseuds/Morathi_Cain
Summary: Tumblr prompt: All secrets are revealed when Ram is high on anaesthesia.It's been a week after the camp and they haven't talked yet. It's an exhausting dance they do and then Ram breaks his wrist. When caring for him, King would have never expected this kind of Ram. In the end, it's rather helpful though. And adorable. And bad for his heart.
Relationships: King/Ram (My Engineer)
Series: What is it about those engineering boys? [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708738
Comments: 32
Kudos: 331





	One word to change the world

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the delay and thank you for the prompt!
> 
> Once I had the idea of how high-Ram would be, I couldn't stop writing.  
> Have fun! ^^

One word to change the world

The way back from the doctor was quiet. More quiet than usual, because this time, King didn’t even dare to say anything.

He was used to Ram being silent and lost in thoughts. King even knew which kind of silence meant what, but this one was new.

It wasn’t the shy one. When Ram was blushing and wondering what to say, but too embarrassed to let out a word.

It wasn’t the happy and comfortable one, which was what they’d gotten used to when they spent time together at the flat. Both of them being close together without saying anything.

It wasn’t the angry one either when Ram was still working through his issues and King always imagined his mind steaming.

It wasn’t an attentive one either when King was babbling and rambling and Ram listened, his whole attention on King himself. Which made him word vomit, even more, his nervousness spiking up.

It also wasn’t the awkward one, which had been happening for over a week now. Ever since they’d come back from the camp, they had avoided the topic like lava, dancing around each other without saying anything. King saw the way Ram stared at him as if he wanted to say anything, but in the end, he stopped himself.

Should he say something instead? Or should he as Ram?  
But then he wondered if it might be a rejection and if Ram’s silence meant he still wanted to keep the situation as it was instead of destroying whatever they had.

He’d only texted him “I wasn’t drunk” after all. So he’d kissed King back being sober. Did that mean he wanted it? Or had he seized the moment, going with the flow? Had he taken pity on King? Or had King been too forceful?

He didn’t know, his own memories of the night hazy at best. Except for the feeling of Ram’s lips on his own and the way the heat had pooled in his belly, strengthening his desire for a tenfold. Or Ram’s hands on his cheeks, the way he’d held King close, had pulled him in for a second kiss even.

It should mean something, shouldn’t it? Maybe a tiny bit? A small glimmer of hope? But wouldn’t Ram have said something then?

With as much force as he could muster, King pulled himself back into the present. He was, after all, driving his borrowed car home by now, Ram on the seat next to him.

“I’m happy the weather is nice. I don’t like driving in the rain.”

Ram released a humming sound, but it sounded weird and King didn’t know what to make of it. Was it good? Or bad? Was Ram happy or angry?

At least King knew the reason for this new and weird way of him. The anaesthetics must have hit him hard, but it was no wonder. The pain in his hand had been bad before and he’d needed some way to survive the surgery.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the way Ram stared at his bandaged hand, tugging softly at the corner of the fabric.

Funny, how different Ram was now from several hours ago. When King had brought him to the hospital, he’d ground his teeth, holding his hand close, radiating fury like nothing else. And it had been King’s fault. Kind of. And Ram’s. Of course.

Thanks to the weird situation at home, King had been lost in thoughts when they’d been walking towards their favourite restaurant with the gang. Ram hadn’t been with them yet, but King had looked out for him, nervous despite them living together.

It had been an accident when he’d bumped into the girl and he’d apologised instantly. He’d also helped her collect her things, which had been thrown to the ground. And he’d talked with her, trying to calm her and make some small talk. A mistake, apparently, because it hadn’t taken long for a pair of hands to push him so hard, he had stumbled.

“What the fuck are you doing with my girl?!”

He’d turned and there had been a guy, so furious, King had wondered why there was no steam coming out of his ears. Although that hadn’t been the problem at all.

“I ... nothing? I only helped her.”

“Seriously? I could see from over here that you were flirting with her!”

“Gus”, the girl had started, obviously being exasperated and angry herself, “Calm down, he didn’t flirt with me.”

“What? Were you flirting as well?”

The guy had stepped closer and King had had the urge to turn and go. But the jealous boyfriend had shown way too much aggression already for King to leave him with his girlfriend.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to flirt with her. I only helped her collect her things.”

The guy had snorted: “As if! And she let you?”

“Of course I did! He ran into me, after all.”

When the guy had kept quiet for a moment, King had known exactly what he had been wondering about. Should he be angry about his girlfriend letting someone help or at King for running into her?

“Look”, King had tried before the idiot could reach a possibly stupid conclusion, “I meant no harm, it was an accident and I only wanted to help, so ...”

But the idiot had reached a conclusion and before King could have even reacted, his head had been thrown to the side by a fist, connecting with his chin. It hadn’t been an especially strong hit, but it had taken King by surprise and he had stumbled backwards.

“Wha ...”

“Don’t hit him!”, the girl had screamed, now also furious.

King had held his chin, looking from one to the other, even when the guy had stepped closer to him, ignoring his own partner.  
There would be a second hit, would there? King had wondered what he was supposed to do. Should he run or stay or ...

There had been a flash, a nasty sound and a scream in bare seconds, right after another. And then Ram had been standing in front of King, his shoulders tense and his fists lifted as he stared down at the man, lying on the ground with a bloody nose, a mumbled scream coming out of his mouth.

“Ram!”

King had tried going around Ram to calm him down somehow, but Ram wouldn’t let him. As if it had been his one duty to protect King, he had kept his eyes on the man and had continued to stay between them, not moving even for a bit.

The girl, who had been furious before, had now been worried for her idiotic partner, kneeling next to him as he struggled to get up. But he had been managing this somehow and King had feared the next step.

“I’m safe”, King had whispered, afraid they’d get in even deeper trouble soon enough, “Let’s go.”

Ram had stepped back until his back had been pressed to King’s chest. Only lightly, but enough to make King realise how fast his heart had been beating.

Then he’d nodded and they had turned unisono, running away as fast as they could. Automatically, King had taken Ram’s wrist into his hand, dragging him along and making sure he wouldn’t turn. No way in hell would he let him keep hitting this idiot and risk being hurt or caught because of assault. He knew how strong Ram was!

When they had finally stopped, they had both been breathing heavily.

“Why?”, King had asked as he had looked at Ram, once he had enough air in his lungs to speak.

Ram’s gaze had been piercing: “He hurt you.”

A shiver had run down King’s back and he hadn’t been able to look away, his heart in his throat. Was this ... did it mean he ... or was it a simple act between friends? The same he’d done for Duen?

His grip on Ram’s wrist had tightened, but a sudden wince had made him let go instantly.

“What?”

Ram had stared at his hand and wrist, a frown darkening his features.

“Are you hurt?”

There had been a short second when Ram had probably been close to say “No” or shake his head, but as he’d tried to move his hand, he’d winced again.

“Oh fuck”, in a second, King had been close, taking Ram’s hand carefully into his, examining it as if he was a doctor with actual experience. The skin beneath his fingers had been too hot and there had been a slight swelling already.

Finally, King looked up into Ram’s unreadable but also familiar face: “We need to go to the hospital.”

~~~

And now they were on their way back home again.  
King in his burrowed car and Ram being high on pain killers after getting his bones rearranged. And he was quiet. Too quiet.

“Are you okay?”, King finally managed to ask, although it felt as if he was disturbing something.

No answer, which was usual but still disturbing. It felt as if Ram’s presence had shifted and King didn’t know how to proceed any longer.

A sudden touch to his hand on the gear made him jerk up and look to the side. Ram wasn’t looking at him but at his own hand, which was now on top of King’s. And it was simply lying there, not moving even for a bit.  
Which made King go crazy, to be honest.  
First stunned, then crazy.

With every ounce of self-control he had, he turned his gaze again on the road, driving them home as slow as possible, at least half his brain taken over by the sensation of Ram’s hand on his own.

It didn’t stop. Even when they were back in the flat, no longer holding hands, Ram continued to stay close to King, following him into the kitchen and back to the living room. He almost went into the bathroom with him and probably would have, if King hadn’t realised it soon enough.

They had showered together already, but he didn’t need his crush to watch him pee at all.

Luckily, Ram seemed rather quiet but safe in this state, so King could actually leave him alone. Not for long, he didn’t dare that, but for a few minutes. When he came out of the bathroom though, he’d been awaited as if Ram was a cat and King his mean owner.

“I ... what are you doing here?”

But all Ram did, was look at him with his best and worst puppy eyes and then followed him back into the living room. So apparently King had a stalker now? A cute stalker, none the less. And one whose constant focus on him made King crazy, his blood rushing in his ears.

“I’ll order some food and we could watch something?”, he asked, not even expecting a reply.

He was right, there was none, but at least Ram didn’t seem to disapprove.

When they finally sat down to eat, Ram was still quiet but seemed rather happy as he hummed while shovelling food in his mouth. At least his attention was on the meal for the moment instead of King, giving him the opportunity to relax for a little bit. Relax and watch Ram secretly, his own thoughts racing.

How could the drugs have such an effect on Ram? He had been rambling for miles when he’d had his wisdom teeth removed. He’d feel much more comfortable if it was the same with Ram, although he feared what truths or lies might appear then. And he wasn’t ready for any of it, no matter how much time passed.

Lost deep in his thoughts, King didn’t realise Ram had started moving until his hand was once again covered by Ram’s. His eyes for focused on their intertwined hands while he played with King’s fingers, a soft smile on his lips.

King wondered if he should pull back so it wouldn’t be awkward later, but the giddy happiness Ram was radiating, made him stop. If that was what Ram needed right now, King could give it to him.

“Let’s move to the sofa?”, he murmured, but Ram didn’t react, once again. So King held his fingers and dragged him over to the living room, hoping Ram would maybe fall asleep once they started watching something. Anything was fine, really.

Ram seemed to have had the exact same idea because once they were sitting, he shifted closer, King’s hand still firmly gripped and laid his head on King’s shoulder.

Unprompted.  
Surprisingly.  
Gently.  
And absolutely unnecessary.

King froze, his relatively calm heart by now shooting into the sky with no prospect of coming home again.

What the hell?

King couldn’t move. His whole focus was on those fingers playing with his hands, stroking his knuckles, comparing their fingers and moving King’s as if they were toys. His focus was on the hair which was brushing against his chin and the delicious weight of Ram’s head on his shoulder, his scent clouding King’s mind.

He hadn’t even turned on the TV and to be honest, he wouldn’t do it now as he was almost unable to move.

Weeks of pining and tension, his mind racing against itself, self-doubts and guilt, came crashing down on him like a meteor from the sky. Everything would be erased and he knew, the only thing which would be left would be his love for Ram. Nothing else.

And he feared it because it was so overwhelming and happy and scary at the same time. He feared it because he didn’t know what to do and how to behave. He also feared he might do the wrong thing and hurt Ram somehow, make him go away.

Although it didn’t seem as if anything could make this man go away right now as he nuzzled deeper into King’s neck as if he could be one with him this way. Which was another scary thought, to be honest. Because he wanted it too, with all his heart.

“Want.”

It had only been a murmur, but it pulled King’s mind back into his body, his tension multiplying.

“What?”

“Want.”

Being high truly didn’t make Ram more talkative, did it?

“What do you want?”

Ram lifted their joint hands in front of their faces: “Want.”

“You want to hold my hand?”

Ram nodded and King could have sworn he was purring. A purring Ram on his shoulder. The shiver running down his back could have revived the dead, he was sure of it.

The next minutes felt as if he died and came back on repeat, his thoughts a weird, incoherent mush.

Suddenly, Ram moved again and pulled back a little. For one panicked second, King wondered if Ram was sobering up and realising this wasn’t what he actually wanted, but his eyes were still the same puppy eyes, which he couldn’t refuse.

“Want.”

King blinked: “What do you want?”

Slowly, Ram loosened his grip and let King’s hand drop on their legs, a bit cold after all the care it had experienced just now.  
As gentle as was probably possible, Ram ran his fingers through King’s hair once, while repeating with vigour: “Want.”

“You want to touch my hair?”

Another nod, but the hand kept still, his gaze still expectant.

“I ...”, King swallowed, but he couldn’t stop his own words, “I want it, too.”

There was some kind of happy noise coming out of Ram’s mouth as he eagerly ran his fingers through King’s hair, leaving him frozen to the spot once more, almost unable to enjoy the treatment and care he got. Almost only because there was one part inside King, which would absorb every little bit of attention and touching he would get from Ram, no matter the situation.

“My King.”

If King had gotten a Baht with every moment Ram had shocked him today, he probably would have been able to get therapy. And he feared it wouldn’t stop soon. Feared or wanted? He didn’t know anymore.

And so he stared at Ram, who happily continued to run his fingers through King’s hair, probably enjoying this more than he should. Shouldn’t he?  
But on the other hand ... why not?

Why not sit here and enjoy the way Ram treated him?  
Why not let Ram enjoy touching him with such softness and tenderness? Such innocence? Because this truly was innocent, wasn’t it? Nothing Ram could complain about once he was sober again, could he?

“Want.”

King blinked again, getting Ram back into focus.  
What now?

“Want.”

Ram’s gaze was focused on King’s face, but he didn’t look him in the eyes. A tingling spread in his lips as he remembered their last kiss as vividly as if it had happened just now.

“You want to kiss me?”

Another nod and King was sure his heart had just stopped. If this was going on for longer, he’d definitely need therapy, even if he didn’t get any money for being shocked by Ram.

He met the same expectant look in Ram’s eyes as before. A clear sign that Ram wanted an answer before continuing.

What had this been about being innocent? King didn’t know any longer if he was too hot or too cold, he could only settle on ‘too much’.

Should he push Ram away? He wasn’t himself, was he? But he couldn’t, not with Ram staring at him so eagerly as if he wished to devour him whole. King truly didn’t have the power to deny him all. Or himself.

“I want to kiss you, too.”

The happy smile on Ram’s face was almost weird after the desperate look he’d sent to King’s lips, but it didn’t matter.

All which mattered was Ram closing in after a second, pressing his trembling lips to King’s with a tenderness, which made King’s heartache. Once more.

This was wrong, his mind reminded him. Ram wasn’t himself. He should stop it. He really should. Before it went out of hand. He ...

Ram pulled back, as satisfied as a cat who had just stolen a taste of the hidden milk.

Instead of going back in, Ram took King’s hand back into his own, holding it tight and embraced King whole like the cuddly monster he had just become.

No more kissing?

King felt the disappointment rising inside of him, but he pushed it down. It was good the way it was. They didn’t want to regret anything, did they?

And besides, being cuddled like this wasn’t bad. At all. Rather the opposite.

Leaning back a bit, his heartrate still racing through the roof, King prepared for a long evening and an awkward morning. He also memorised every second of their moment, every breath Ram took and every tickled of his hair against King’s neck. He would remember all of it forever, no matter how the next morning would work out.

Slowly, both of them fell asleep exactly like this, their heartbeats racing like one.

~~~

When King woke up again, he was still being engulfed in warmth. A safe, comforting but also exciting warmth. His hand wasn’t being held any longer, but he was wrapped by strong arms and pushed against a chest.

It was still rather dark outside and he didn’t dare to move for several moments. Ram was obviously still asleep and King wondered if he should try to sneak into his bedroom, leaving the man alone. Alone but with no trace of what had happened. Just in case Ram didn’t want it.

Although ... King remembered the soft smile Ram had shown him, the tender way he’d held him, was still holding him. There was a chance of his feelings being returned, wasn’t there?

As he tried to move slightly to ease the pressure on his shoulder, Ram’s grip got tighter and when King looked up, he met with two sleepy eyes, only half-open.

“Sorry”, he murmured, “My shoulder fell asleep.”

Ram searched his face for a moment before easing his grip and yawning as he himself settled into a more comfortable position. Still, he didn’t let go, not one bit.

“Uhm”, King started as Ram continued to stare at him, “How are you?”

Ram lifted his broken wrist and studied it as if he could see right through the bandage.

“It’s okay”, he murmured, his voice rough from sleep.

Hearing it like that didn’t send shivers down King’s back. It definitely didn’t.

“You’re sober now, aren’t you? You want something to drink?”

King knew he was babbling and rambling, but if he didn’t he’d have to accept that he was nervous again. He’d have to accept that there was a lot to think and talk about and he wasn’t ready yet.

But Ram was still watching him and King shut up, not knowing what else to do and say. Instead, his fingers gripped Ram’s shirt as if it would keep him from falling.

Slowly, deliberately and with their eyes still locked, Ram loosened one of his hands again and intertwined their fingers once more, radiating an almost impossible heat.

“I want.”

Ram lifted their joint hands and kissed King’s knuckles, punching King’s breath out of his lungs as he stared at the scene in front of him as if it wasn’t his own body participating.

“I want this.”

Ram smiled at him, even though it wasn’t a full one, but it was tender and personal, almost intimate. He let go of King’s hand and brushed a strand of hair back behind his ear, his fingers trembling.

“I want you.”

Now, Ram stopped moving, his face close to King’s and his expression expectant like the night before. Was he still high? Or did he remember?

Was there even one reason to decline this? To say ‘no’ like a liar? Hadn’t they danced around too much already? And should he really behave as if his heart wasn’t dancing right now to the rhythm the butterflies were providing in his stomach?

Taking a deep breath, King took hold of Ram’s waist, daring to touch the man instead of his clothes only.

“I want you, too.”

The reaction was instant, the happiness like a punch to the gut. A good one, though. Ram smiled as if his birthday had come early. Or as if his love had just been reciprocated. Maybe it was the second one, King thought as he mirrored the smile, his heart now full of unspoken feelings. And hope. Lots of hope.

So much hope in fact, that he wasn’t able to contain it any longer. Nervous and trembling he leaned forward a bit, finally brave enough to be open about his feelings.

“I love you.”

Although it had seemed impossible, the smile got even wider, Ram’s eyes crinkling and his dimples intensifying. He looked so fucking cute and King didn’t want to wait anymore.

Finally, he kissed Ram, putting all his desperation, all his feeling in this.  
Finally, they were both sober.  
Finally, they knew.

When Ram’s healthy hand came up to cup his face and to keep him close, a soft moan leaving him as their kiss grew deeper, more intimate, King was finally able to let go of his fears and his doubts. He let out a trembling rush of air as he pulled back slightly, before he dived right back in, with renewed hope, regained want and an endless supply of love to give.

King would make sure to enjoy every second of what was about to come. Every tiny little moment would be burned into his memory forever as he could finally believe. Believe them, their love and their future.

But nothing could have prepared him for the happiness he felt when Ram kissed his forehead later, mumbling sweet nothings while blushing adorably, his confessions clear and tender.

This right here?  
This was real.

King wouldn’t let go. No, from now on he would start living in reality instead of being satisfied by his dreams.

With a smile, he pulled Ram closer again.

“I would have never thought I would be thankful for you breaking your wrist. Like ever.”

Ram rolled his eyes.

“Just so you know”, King continued, finally feeling a bit more like his older self again - or maybe a better version of himself, “You’re adorable when you’re high.”

One eyebrow was lifted provokingly and King knew it was a challenge.

“You tried to follow me to the toilet. And you waited for me to get out again. Believe me, I will never forget this. Ever.”

Ram’s cheeks were heating up so much, King almost feared he might explode. Well, Ram kind of did, but King didn’t complain. Being kissed senseless was, after all, his new favourite pastime.

the End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please let me know if you like it =^^=
> 
> -> if you want to scream or ramble at me, please feel free: https://morathicain.tumblr.com/


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